A Story About a Girl, My Story About the World
by Jinny
Summary: Wishing for the past- A thing non can have


A Story About a Girl, My Story About the World  
  
A girl sat, still and quite, staring up into the night sky. Star twinkled, and the moon shone bright. She gave a sigh and hugged her knees. A small tear rolled down her cheek, fallowed by more. Soon she was sobbing quietly into the night, her pain never noticed, her pain of the past, and how she longed for it again.  
  
~**~  
  
The next morning the girl awoke to banging on her door.  
  
"Ginny! Breakfast! I've called you down three times now!" Mrs. Weasly hurried back down the stairs.  
  
Ginny got up, she was still sitting by her window.  
  
"Ugh . . . must have fallen asleep . . . " She mumbled as she lazily tied her hair in her usual braids. She slumped down the stairs, and plopped herself onto her usual chair. "Morning" she grounded. A skater of 'Mornings' was heard from her three older brothers, Ron, Fred, and George. Fred and George were finished school now, but they still lived at home. They were in the final stages of buying there joke shop, and would be moving in there but the time Hogwarts started.  
  
"All right now! Harry and Hermione are coming down with us to Diagon Alley tomorrow, so I want you all to be ready tomorrow morning! No more sleeping in" She gave a look in Ginny's direction. "Were meeting them at Gringalts." Mrs. Weasly gave a flick of her wand and the dishes started to clean themselves. This was a common thing, Harry and Hermione always came with them, they were like extended family.  
  
Throughout the whole day Ginny sat in her room. None cared, so none noticed she wasn't there. She came down for lunch and diner, but that was all.  
  
~**~  
  
The next day Mrs. Weasly banged on Ginny's door, but to no success of waking her.  
  
"Ginny!!! Wake up! Time to go!!! ... Ginny?" Mrs. Weasly slowly opened up the door. The small red-haired girl was curled up against her window, dark rings around her eyes. "Ginny?" Mrs. Weasly walked up to her daughter and put a hand on her shoulder. "Wake up dear" she said calmly, slightly shaking the girl.  
  
Her eyes shot strait open, moving back against the window in shock. This sudden movement made Mrs. Weasly jump back as well.  
  
"Oh . . . hello mum" she said as she rubbed her eyes. "Did I not hear you?" Ginny thought for a second. "Were not late?; are we??" She said in a rush of panic. She tried to get up, wobbled and fell back down.  
  
"No, were not late . . . " Mrs. Weasly helped up the girl and she sat on her bed. "Yet! Hurry and get ready!" She then turned to go, but only made it to the door when she asked "Ginny? Are you all right? Are you feeling ok?"  
  
"Oh . . . " Ginny was caught off guard, 'think fast, think fast . . . ' she thought. "I stayed up late...I...er was reading!" She added her fake but no one knows it smiles.  
  
"All right then, now hurry, or we will be late!"  
  
"Yes mum." Mrs. Weasly then shut the door and went down the stairs. Ginny immediately stuck out her tongue and mumbled 'stupid idiot' under her breath.  
  
Oh yes she stayed up, but not because she was reading. She spent the night crying again, this time until the sun rose. And this was her family, the family that was too busy to notice her pain.  
  
Ginny had been staying inside her room all summer, and the summer before that, and the one before that, and so one since her first year at Hogwarts. She avoided her family as much as possible. And they have never noticed.  
  
~**~  
  
The day was not going to well. Fred and George pranked Ron into eating one of their new inventions. His face swelled up, and whenever he talked it was in a squawky voice that made everyone's ears hurt. When they finally got to Diagon Alley, they were already an hour late. They met up with Harry and Hermione, and got their money. After everything was squared away, they all split up, Ginny being stuck with her mother.  
  
"Mum! I'm 16! Can't I go by myself?! I know all the stuff to get!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Mum please!"  
  
"Fine! Go! Leave me all -" But Ginny had already left on the first word, not bothering to hear the rest of her mothers talking.  
  
'Finally!' She thought as she walked into the book shop 'she thinks I'm still a baby! Even when I'm 16!' "These books please" she spoke to the guy at the counter, handing him a list.  
  
"Right this way please miss."  
  
After this she started to look through the many shelves, pulling out books like 'Dark Magic of the ages' and 'Dark art spells, and how to stop them' When she was done, she had three big books in her arms. She bought them and laughed in her head at the look on the store keepers face. She really didn't care what he thought of her, she needed these books, she had already read all the books in the Hogwarts library, even the ones in the restricted section. These books were just so interesting. She walked into another shop, buying more ink, quills, parchment, and a cute little necklace of a snake attached to a crescent moon, it had reminded her of Tom. She got new robes, and more potion ingredients, meeting up with her family around four o'clock.  
p align=left She was happy and proud. She had just bought things her whole family would scowl at. This was fun.  
  
"So Ginny, what did you get?" Asked Ron as he tried to see in her bags.  
  
"Nothing you would be interested in" She snapped back sharply.  
  
"Oi, what's up with you?" he asked backing away.  
  
"Nothing, I just don't think you would be too interested in books and parchment" She said simply and walked past him.  
  
"Uhhh . . . ok?"  
  
~**~  
  
That night was like every other night for Ginny. She sat by her window, this time not crying but, looking up at the stars, and then down at her book.   
  
"What did Tom find so interesting about the dark arts?" She said softly to herself, slowly turning her new necklace in her fingers. She kept on reading about the gruesome descriptions of people being tortured.  
  
'Why I found it fun.'  
  
Ginny's head shot up and searched the room. "Tom?" She breathed. Silence answered her. It was just her mind playing tricks on her again. She read on until her eyes grew too heavy to keep open, and sleep came to take her to an uneasy sleep.  
  
~**~  
  
There stud Tom, his dark eyes fixed, his black hair messy, yet unusually neat. His grin, sexy, yet haunting. Ginny ran to him  
  
"Oh Tom! I missed you!" She placed her hands on his chest. "Please come back to me . . . " tears flowed down her checks "I need you!" She placed her head against his chest as well. He raped his arms around her, embracing her tightly.  
  
"But Ginny, didn't I hurt you? Didn't I betray you?" His voice was cold, and Ginny didn't like it. She rased her head to look into his eyes. "Didn't I break your heart?" His eyes were blank, and his grin was twisted. "And I do recall you saying that you hate me, and that you would never forgive me?" Ginny pushed away from his arms.  
  
"Yes Tom, I did say that, but that was when I still had you! I don't care anymore! You may have hurt me, but this pain!" She pointed to her heart "Is worse! Its grown and grown Tom! I've had no one to talk to! I have no one to comfort me! And It's all swelled up! Tom, you were my only friend, and the only one I loved!" Her tears streamed down her face, and her breathing was heavy.  
  
"So what do you want me to do? You know if you bring me back I'll just use you to gain power again." Ginny's face turned from pain to anger.  
  
"Tom why can't you just give it up!? You can't gain power! Things always go wrong, and you just get shot down! Don't you get tired of it?" Tom's face turned into an emotion Ginny couldn't pick out.  
  
"Yes . . . But just like you, I long for that pain" Silence.  
  
~**~  
  
Ginny woke up to the usual banging, and the usual call down for breakfast.   
  
"I don't long for pain . . . " she mumbled getting up and hiding her book under her pillow.  
  
'Yes you do, you long for the past, the pain and comfort you had with Tom' Came a voice inside her head. The voice was cold, and sliced into her deeply.  
  
"No!" She said grabbing her head trying to shut out her thoughts.  
  
'Yes you do, admit it! You've spent five years wishing to go back to the past, you wish you could be with him a bit longer' Ginny collapsed on her bed. 'You want him here with you, to take away you pain, but only filling it with another, his deceit, his betrayal.'  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" Ginny yelled.  
  
'Oh, there you go. You've done it now! You've got all you family's attention! You family that never notices your pain.'  
  
"Ginny?" Mrs. Weasly's voice was heard outside the door "Anything wrong?"  
  
"No sorry."Ginny called back.  
  
"Ok, breakfast is downstairs" Before Ginny could stop herself she spoke her mind, for the first time, in a long time.  
  
"I know mum, you only bang on my door yelling it every morning!" Mrs. Weasly froze, and so did Ginny's brothers downstairs. "I mean, honestly! Do you think I wouldn't know its breakfast?"  
  
"Ginny!" Mrs. Weasly opened the door. "Do not talk to me that way! I'm your mother!" Ginny gave a sharp laugh.  
  
"Well sorry, mother! I just wanted you to know that I'm not stupid! I know its breakfast!" Ginny was still sitting on her bed, her face red. Mrs Weasly stood by the door, still holding the door nob, her face even redder  
  
"Fine then, come downstairs, you know what is down there." Mrs. Weasly turned on her heal, and walked out, fuming.  
  
"Oh my god..." Ginny whispered"what have I done..."  
  
"You've finally spoken your mind, dear" answered the mirror tonelessly.  
  
~**~  
  
The rest of the day was horrid. Everyone gave her weird looks and didn't dare talk to her- not like they normally did, but still.  
  
'See, they only notice you when you do something wrong and shocking' Came that icy cold voice in the back of her head.'There, I dare you to say hello to Ron, I bet he'll jump!'  
  
"Hello" Ginny said calmly. Ron jumped  
  
"H-hello Ginny . . . " he answered back nervously.  
  
'See, I knew it.'  
  
~**~  
  
The day was perhaps the longest day Ginny had ever had. It seemed like ages before it was night, the time she felt most comfortable.  
  
'Ha, there you go again! Wishing for Tom, wishing for the past, wishing for that pain instead of this one.' Ginny sat hugging her knees, twirling the necklace of the snake and the moon.  
  
"Fine! I admit it, I want Tom back, I want the past, I even want the pain . . . But is not that the way this world is? We always want what we can't have . . . Mines just the past . . . " Ginny looked up at the stars, the moonlight shining on the tear steaks that ran down he checks. "This world is all about wanting things you can't have, things that may be painful, or happy, but y'know what the thing is? You end up in even more pain wishing for it, because you know it will never come true..."  
  
'Then why don't you stop?' The voice was no longer the cold icy one, but of Tom, his calm comforting voice, the one that made Ginny's heart melt, and make her sob harder.  
  
"I can't, Tom . . . I can't . . . " And she sat there alone, swallowed by her pain.  
  
~**~  
  
Well? How do you all like it? Dose it make sense? Anything I can do to make it better? Well please tell me! ^^ 


End file.
